Monica Crowley

Weekend Stuff

Please tune in to the The McLaughlin Group this weekend, on CBS in NY and Washington and on PBS elsewhere. Also, I'll be part of the cover story on Robert Kennedy on CBS's "Sunday Morning" (9am on the east coast; elsewhere please check local listings).

And: the radio show can now be acquired more regularly on iTunes. Just go to iTunes and type in "Monica Crowley."

Hope you enjoy all the shows. Thanks for tuning in.

Thank You For Not Smoking

There was a fierce stampede to check out John McCain's medical records last week. After all, the guy's 71, suffered for five and a half years tortured and beaten as a prisoner of war, and survived a bout with melanoma. Reporters pored over the reams of medical files and came up with one conclusion: McCain's fine.

In politics, as in life, it's usually the thing you least expect that comes out of nowhere and hits you upside the head. (See: Hillary, inevitability; Obama, from left field).

While most people are focused on McCain's health, no one seems to be much concerned about the health of his chief rival. After all, Obama is a robust 46, works out regularly, and watches what he eats. He looks fit n' trim.

But for 20 years, Obama has done what most doctors say is the single worst thing you can do to hurt your health: he smoked.

His physician released a one-page medical report on him. (One page? McCain released hundreds of pages.). In it, his doctor says Obama is trying to contain the urge for cigarettes by chewing Nicorette gum, which he's been using for far longer than its maximum recommended use of 12 weeks.

Reporters following him on the campaign trail whisper that he occasionally falls off the wagon and takes some drags. Obama himself says if his wife Michelle caught him in the act, he'd be toast.

Americans should know if their president is a smoker, or is someone desperately trying to become a former smoker.

Because Obama has created the "savior" image for himself---the liberal idealist, the first viable black candidate for president, Mr. Perfect--- nobody wants to impute anything negative to him. Not even a bad and dangerous habit he struggles every day to give up.

Pat Nixon and Jackie Kennedy were closet smokers as First Lady. No one saw them do it, but they puffed away when they could. Mrs. Nixon suffered from emphysema for years and Mrs. Onassis died from cancer.

While we think about McCain's health, we should also be thinking about Obama's. There are no guarantees in anyone's life. But given Obama's two-decade cigarette habit, his physical condition is as much an issue as McCain's.

Show Biz

A few Hollywood gems o' idiocy:

The "Sex and the City" movie opened last night in Great Britain, and early reports indicate theaters haven't been this devoid of men since "Love Story" opened almost four decades ago.  Although that was the age of Alan Alda's "sensitive man," so perhaps there were a few more Y chromosomes in that audience than in today's "Sex" audience.

The fading sex symbol, Miz Sharon Stone, made a horse's tushy out of herself---again---by suggesting this week that the devastating earthquake in China was the result of bad "karma" for Beijing's repressive policies toward Tibet.  Along the lines of the late Jerry Falwell blaming "secularists" for helping September 11 happen and Muslim clerics blaming corruption of Islam for natural disasters that strike the Muslim world, Stone's comments were particularly idiotic.  She lost her coveted advertising contract with Christian Dior in China because of it.  There goes the free fur coats!

Italy's famed opera house, La Scala, announced plans to turn Al Gore's environmental panic attack, "An Inconvenient Truth," into a soaring opera.  No word yet on which legendary sopranos are lining up to play Gore.

Ladies:  George Clooney is newly single.  If you can overlook his political views, start your engines.  Maybe you can convince him that your first date should involve seeing "Sex and the City."

The Death of Discretion

It used to be, back in the day, that those who served their country in high positions, positions of authority and importance, would honor their offices and the office they ultimately served: the presidency. Even when they may have acted dishonorably in office, they kept the dirty linens to themselves. That's what was expected of them, and that's what they did.

They didn't write kiss n' tells. They didn't spill the beans. They didn't tell tales out of school.

They kept their counsel, and went to their graves with the stories that gentlemen simply did not tell.

Goodbye to all that.

The unspoken rule of political memoirs once was: you can write what you'd like, and you can express disagreements and even once-confidential conversations (provided enough time had elapsed so as not to imperil national security secrets or anyone's reputation), but you must only do it once the presidency in which you had served had ended. There was to be no memoir-writing while the president for whom you had worked was still in office.

George Stephanopoulos was the first high-ranking White House official to publish a tell-all while his president was still in office. "All Too Human" was a scathing look inside the highly dysfunctional Clinton White House, published nine months before Bill and Hillary backed up the moving van and made off with the White House furniture.

Was it salacious? Yup. Was it delightful? You bet. Was it proper? Not really.

Now a new memoir is hitting the bookshelves, written by former Bush press secretary Scott McClellan. In it, he blasts the president for relying on "propaganda" to sell the Iraq war, which he now deems "unnecessary." He attacks the Vice President and Secretary Condi Rice for incompetence and arrogance, and goes after the president for being stubbornly attached to certain positions.

Some of these criticisms may have merit. The events we are in the midst of now will one day be history, and the history of the administration will be looked at from many angles and with many sets of eyes.

But for someone who was once the president's confidante, someone he knew and trusted, someone who gave him the opportunity of a lifetime, to write a tell-all while that history is still being made, is not cool. There will be plenty of memoirs coming out of the Bush administration. Most will be cover-your-tushy affairs, as memoirs often are. Some will paint a glossy picture. Some will be critical. But their timing is crucial.

McClellan could have published this book in 8 months, when Bush was on his way out the door. But then, he wouldn't have sold as many books. Publishing now may make him a bit wealthier, but it's simply not cool to do to your former boss and your president. Not cool at all.

But Don't Raise Questions About His Patriotism!

A few weeks ago, the chief political strategist for Hamas, Ahmed Yousef, expressed delight bordering on glee at the idea that Barack Obama might be America's next president.

"Actually, we like Mr. Obama," he said. "We hope he will [win] the election."

Sensing the disaster in this, the forces of liberalism that Must Protect Barry at All Costs, rallied to his defense, intimidating anyone who might raise the fact that one of the world's most lethal terrorist groups has just endorsed him. Nobody, they intoned, should point this out. Pointing it out is below the belt.

John McCain, war hero, patriot, lover of America, candidate for president, pointed it out, and Democrats jumped all over him. Not appropriate, they said. Obama himself used his best stealth tactic of "more in sorrow than in anger:" I thought we were going to run a positive campaign, he said wistfully. His wingmen, like Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, attacked McCain for behaving in an unbecoming manner for bringing it up. And Jon Stewart took care of the pop culture side, by berating McCain for raising it as McCain sat on his couch, trying to be a polite guest.

The reason Barry got Hamas's endorsement is because Hamas believes he is sympathetic to them. Either that, or they think he's so naive and inexperienced that they can run circles around him. Obama has said he "understands" the Palestinians' position. He didn't back away from the efforts of his big cheerleader, Jimmy Carter, when he went stupidly into talks with Hamas, until he realized he had to. He has said he wouldn't negotiate directly with Hamas, but two weeks ago, he had to cut loose a major foreign policy adviser, Robert Malley, for doing just that. He comes from Muslim parentage, at least on his father's side, and we're not supposed to wonder why Hamas would prefer Barack Hussein Obama to John Sidney McCain?

Meanwhile, not wanting to let Hamas hog the spotlight, Fidel Castro (still kickin'!) gave Obama a big, wet kiss yesterday. In a column, he wrote that Obama was "the most progressive candidate to the U.S. presidency." He also criticized him for saying he'd continue the trade embargo against Cuba, but he went on to say, "I am not questioning Obama's great intelligence, his debating skills, or his work ethic."

Sounds like Fidel---like the thugs in Hamas----is packing his bags for a Love Boat cruise with Barry.

You just know that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is pulling his hair out that these killers are stealing his thunder. And Kim Jong Il must be illin' at the thought of the Islamists and the ancient Commie murderer edging him out of the endorsement game.

But perhaps they're smarter: keep their lips zipped, don't tip their hand, let the Americans elect the 98 pound weakling who can't wait to make 'Smores around the campfire with them. Because, you know, who can resist a 'Smore?

When your enemies tell you who they are, believe them. When they tell you what they intend to do, believe them. And when they tell you which of your presidential candidates they'd prefer, believe them.

And vote accordingly.

In Memoriam

On this Memorial Day, think about the question: What is a hero? The answer is etched in every face of every veteran who has ever served this country. It's carved in every white cross and Star of David at the American military cemetery at Normandy. It's at the haunting momument at Pearl Harbor. And it can be seen in every American flag flying in our big cities, small towns, school classrooms, and over the final resting places of every man and woman who has served. These are the places where true heroism can be found.

On this day, please remember that we're all free citizens of the United States, because of what those who put on the uniform did in every war this country has ever fought. We live in liberty because of their breathtakingly selfless sacrifice.

Please take a moment to express gratitude. It seems like such a small gesture in relation to what they gave, but it's all they'd ever want.

As the American poet Fitz-Greene Halleck wrote:
But to the hero, when his sword
Has won the battle for the free,
Thy voice sounds like a prophet's word;
And in its hollow tones are heard
The thanks of millions yet to be.

God bless you, and may God continue to bless America.

Double Cross

Barack Obama cannot be serious.

CNN is reporting today that there are ongoing talks between the Clinton camp (read: Bill) and the Obama camp (read: Michelle) about getting Hillary on the ticket. There is, no doubt, a lot of Clintonian extortion happening: promises of riots at the Convention, telling women not to support Obama if he doesn't bend to their demands, horses' heads in their beds.

The talks are described by someone involved as "difficult." Horses' heads do have a tendency to make negotiations "difficult."

Obama, apparently, is thinking about it. Which leads me to believe he's either A) easily intimidated; B) stupid; or C) very, very careful.

He cannot be seen to be blowing her off. Even if he has no intention of putting her on the ticket, he's got to be seen as considerate to her and her army of delegates. But the last thing he wants is Bill Clinton shadowing him for 4 years and Hillary planning the palace coup on Day One.

So, these "talks" may involve a facesaving way for her to get out: that he offers it to her, she declines, the party is unified, and end of story.

But. What if they make that deal, but when he offers it to her, she takes it? That would be a double cross of Clintonian caliber: dirty, underhanded, and genius.

If I were Obama, I'd get it in writing.

The McLaughlin Group

Please join us for The McLaughlin Group this weekend and every weekend. In the New York area, it's now seen at 11am ET on CBS (Channel 2). In the Washington area, it's seen at 11:30am on CBS (Channel 9). The rest of the country sees it on PBS as usual. For more information, please visit www.mclaughlin.com.

So Much For Girl Power

House Speaker---and arguably the most powerful woman in the country (Lord, help us)---Nancy Pelosi, just damned Hillary Clinton with faint praise.

In an interview on PBS's NewsHour last night, Pelosi said women wouldn't suffer a "step back" if Hillary weren't to get the nomination. "A woman is down to the wire in contention for the presidential nomination. You know, she still may win this, but whatever the outcome, new ground has been broken and it won't be left unbroken. It will be built upon."

Then the coup de grace: "The person who has the most delegates becomes the nominee of the party. It's not been about the popular vote."

Pelosi had better invest in a food taster.

Hillary's forward march depends almost totally on winning a popular vote victory after she creams Barack Obama in Puerto Rico on June 1.

When asked about the possibility of Hillary appearing on the ticket as Obama's running mate, Pelosi sunk the knife in deeper: "In all honesty," she said, "I do think it's not likely."

No wonder Hillary is rallying women to her in these final contests. She certainly can't count on the most important woman in Washington. In fact, the only woman Hillary can really count on is herself.

The Case for Being a Homebody

First went the rubber chicken.

Back in the day, when you'd travel by airplane, you knew that for the decent amount of money you were spending to fly, you'd at least get a meal. It wasn't a great meal---most of the time it wasn't even a good meal---but it was a warm meal. Something to make you forget you were flying at 30,000 feet in a steel tube.

The first sign that airline travel was going right into the loo was the bagel.

Instead of a meal, airlines began featuring "bagels in a bag" that you could grab as you entered the aircraft. The bagel was hard as a rock and freezing cold and the accompanying cream cheese was unspreadable, but at least they were still giving you something to nosh on.

Then the bagel went away and we were offered sad bags of peanuts----bags so tiny mice wouldn't think it was worth it to gnaw through them.

And then the peanuts went away and were replaced by dry, cold miniature pretzels. At least the peanuts had some protein.

Now, American Airlines is becoming the first to charge for your first checked bag. And thirty U.S. cities have been dropped by the airlines for service altogether.

Soaring fuel prices mean higher airline prices for you and me. We're paying more---much more---for a lot less service and disappearing creature comforts that---as we get crammed in clutching our minuscule bags of carbs---reminded us that we were human beings.

All of the presidential candidates talk about what they are prepared to do on Day One as the new Chief Executive. I know we've got pressing issues with regard to Iraq, Iran, North Korea, the economy, energy, health care, and so on. But perhaps on Day Two or Three, the new president could spend five minutes thinking about how to get us off the ground, in the air, and back on the ground in a more civilized and efficient way.