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March 04, 2008

Comments

Allah Schmallah

This one goes out the [Fred] Special K.. you others are encouraged to enjoy, I hope:

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a 40 caliber Glock, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
__________________________________________________
THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN

Democrat’s Answer:
Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day, and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
________________
End of story, end of Democrat
________________
Republican’s Answer:
BANG!
__________________________
End of story, end of Terrorist
__________________________
Southerner’s Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! Click….. (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! Click
Daughter: ‘Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?’
Son: ‘Can I shoot the next one!?’
Wife: ‘You’re not takin’ that to the Taxidermist!’

gringoman

Allah S.

Good one. I posted that months ago, but probably not here. I think that was during Be Kind to Proggies Week (something that FK might like you to observe.)

Monica,

Whew! For a moment I thought you were going to yield to temptation, i.e. mention that which is not to be mentioned, i.e. a certain name.

As I assume you know, that "Iraqi fugitive billionaire, Nahdmi Auchi," who is connected to Charisma Barry's friendly (alleged) sleazebag, Tony Reszko, also has an alleged history of ties to a certain former Iraqi tyrant whose first name is 'Saddam.'

In deference to your discretion, I too will not mention the family name of this former despot. As many progressives have taught us, this name should not be mentioned, even in---or especially in---the context of Charisma Barry.

Thank you, Monica, for saving me from a moment of what the proggies (and some anxious RINOs) would call bigotry''.

By the way, is Mrs. Slick only smelling blood? After Ohio and Texas, isn't she tasting some? Don't piranhas in NDE (Near Death Experience) keep biting?

Jack Flynn

You left out the part where the Republican's hand is shaking so badly he shoots his balls off. Screaming in pain he fires wildly, taking out out his wife and kids.

It turns out that the terrorist was actually a snowman and the knife was a carrot.

The Republican Glock carrier survived and returned to the local Baptist choir where he was promptly plucked from the low baritone section and placed with the tenors.

Jack Flynn

I never thought I would say this Monica, but you were right on. Texas! Ohio! Rhode Island!
Like you predicted, she spotted "an opening" and dashed through.
Obama stood there prune faced, looking like he just crawled out of the crypt, while a fresh and apple cheeked Hillary joyfully addressed her supporters, who were chanting, "YES SHE CAN! YES SHE CAN! YES SHE CAN!"

The race is on!

FK

I'm sorry. I was distracted by Allah Schmallah's cliched and un-funny little story. Did something happen in Ohio and Texas?

M/M

That's our girl. Here is a little tune I'd like to dedicate to Satan because SHE is "The Chosen One".

http://www.the-sopranos.com/db/wokeup.htm

(Rush is absolutely right AGAIN. We're just not ready to let Satan and Bubba go.)

FK

Isn't calling her Satan a bit absurdly extreme? Never mind; I think I know how all of you will answer.

Allah Schmallah

I knew K-Fred wasn't gonna like "my" little story.. liEberals HATE being shown the mirror the way Dracula hates being shown the midday sun.

Abd yes, Hitlery is Satan indeed. Just that some people blinked when Obama started to turn into Beelzebub in front of our very eyes..

..the Pied Piper of the Big Empty..

FK

I've heard takes on that story before. Such as when my ex-boss said that the difference between a Democrat and a Republican is that when a Democrat sees a homeless man, he gives him a handout, and when a Republican sees a homeless man, he gives him a job.

I was tempted to ask him if I could bring in a homeless man for him to hire. But when you actually call a Republican on something like this, they don't like it, and I needed to keep my job, so I didn't.

If you were in the situation you described, you'd probably s*** your pants, Allah Schmallah.

Allah Schmallah

Oh K-Fred.. You do NOT know me.. once again u display ur IGNORANCE.. If I sh*t my pants.. it will be from EXCITEMENT at getting the chance to WASTE one of these jihadist BASTARDS!

What would REALLY make me S*** my pants would be realizing that YOU or one of your ilk would be the sitting judge at the impending trial..

Instead of getting a parade down the "Canyon of Heroes" for killing a jihadidst I'd have the ACLU harrassing me for life!

Go put that in your pie and smoke it, bitch.

gringoman

M/M.

I'm sure that Michelle Obama, when she's not whining about her (exceptionally privileged) problem of being "black," is enjoying her mate's current notoriety. But having been to Harvard (or one of those institutions) she might not describe it as "cool." Instead, she might call it "ironic" that of all the interested, she's the only one who really knows what the girlies think they want. (But then again,the campaign would probably shut her up, already having experienced some of her straight talk. White progs would rather she's just thought of as "bright" etc. It's like FK who keeps telling us his hero who makes faces, Jon (fake name) Stewart is "funny." Evidence? I SAY JON FAKE NAME STEWART IS FUNNY.

These people beg the question so much, they don't even know they're panhandling.

Re El Bernardo. M/M, with your understanding of Woman, maybe you'd know how the esposa would view your interest in her hombre: An attempt to put (1)her in a higher tax bracket or (2) Bernardo in a divorce court.

FK

Someone remind me: Is Allah Schmallah the one who said that conservatives are polite and liberals are rude?

Excuse me while I put that in my pie and smoke it, whatever that means.

FK

Gringoman --

Jon Stewart is hilarious, and it's a shame you can't enjoy him, especially since he is hard on both sides. Republicans can try, but they don't have a monopoly on hypocrisy yet.

FK

Oh! OK, "pie" was a typo; "Allah Schmallah" meant "pipe"! That makes more sense!

But by throwing in calling me "bitch", you take away from whatever pathetic point you are trying to make, Allah. You certainly don't have the ability to claim that you conservatives are the gentlemen and the rest of us are rude.

BTW -- have any of you considered that George W. Bush may be Satan? A retarded, incompetent Satan, but, nonetheless, Satan?

Jack Flynn

The hydra-headed Charlie = ta Ta Ta, Allah Salmonella.
How pathetic.

FK

You think? This Allah Salmonella seems a hell of a lot more hateful than even Charlie. Unless it's Charlie with a vengeance.

Jack Flynn

The vengeance is given. The syntax is unmistakable. He consistently reacts that way when he can't take any more from stalwart liberals like you and I.
A few days in the recovery room and he'll become his normal hateful self.

Allah Schmallah

Hey Fred "special" K. I never said I am a Conservative, bitch.

Psych!

FK

"Bitch" again, huh? You take away from whatever points you claim to make by resorting to that kind of language. Profanity is the last refuge of a limited mind.

Allah Schmallah

liberalism is a profanity in itself as it seeks to impose itself onto others against their free will.

Kind of like islam, don't you think?

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