The McLaughlin Group

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Parting Shots

After seeing last night's Democratic debate in full and then watching the endless loop of high- and lowlights from it all day today, one image has come to mind. At the end of "Saving Private Ryan," Captain John H. Miller (played by Tom Hanks) is mortally wounded. As he lays dying on the ground, he valiantly removes his pistol from its holster and lifts it weakly into the air. And he begins to fire. His shots echo in the thin air of the battle raging around him. His gun is pointed in the general direction of the enemy but he is unable to level it at a specific target. He continues to fire---randomly, sporadically---until his body finally gives out.

Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have wrestled each other to the ground. They are hitting each other in a slap-happy, almost dream-like state. Some of the punches land on the opponent, but they are fewer and farther between. They are like prize-fighters who, exhausted, fall to the ground clutching each other.

Of course, one of them will clamber back up and emerge from the dust and smoke, victorious.

The question is: will the one left bleeding on the ground fire one last shot that ricochets in cruel and unusual ways?

Somnambulant

The final two Democratic candidates appeared to sleepwalk through tonight's debate. I mean, quite literally, they looked so weary that they appeared to be napping while the other was talking.

They swayed. They leaned on the podium. Their eyelids were heavy. Their speech was slow and deliberate, each response called up on auto-pilot.

They moved as if through molasses.

They both survived. There were no earth-shattering gaffes or obvious slurring or devastating mangling of an issue. But to have both candidates looking ready to keel over is an indication of the toll this drawn-out campaign has had on them. A lot of Democrats are making an issue of John McCain's age (71), but while he's got 10 years on Hillary and 25 on Obama, McCain looks the most spry.

You have to wonder: if they are this tired NOW, in what condition will they be on January 20 of next year when they are sworn in?

It's Now Official: We're in Hell

They used to be fun.

Ten Democratic nominees for president, standing shoulder-to-shoulder, podium-to-podium, trying to outsnark each other on Iraq, the economy, "experience." Remember what a gas it was, listening to Joe Biden talk about splitting Iraq into three autonomous regions, even though the Iraqis themselves had rejected it? Remember what hilarity ensued when John Edwards flashed his best Bill Clinton "I feel your pain" look whilst discussing the "Other America?" (That would be the America he wouldn't be caught dead in.) Remember the amused but pained expression on Chris Dodd's face every time Barack Obama spoke? Dodd shook his head in disbelief: "I can't believe I'm losing to this guy." Remember the gales of laughter when Dennis Kucinich revealed he had seen a UFO?

Those were the days.

Tonight we will be subjected to yet another Democratic debate between the last two candidates (barely) standing. In one corner, the Arrogant Jerk. In the other, the Hereditary Monarch. The Arrogant Jerk will try to behead Marie Antoinette once and for all. But the Queen will hiss and slither and dodge the guillotine. She will be all drama, full of big gestures and sweeping indictments.

She will not go gently into that good night. And if she must go, she will take him with her.

As for the rest of us, the only enlightenment to be found in tonights Debate XVIII will be to see how both appeal to the Little People. The Arrogant Jerk will beat us over the head with stories of his student loans and food stamps. And the Hereditary Monarch will regale us with stories of how she's worked her "entire life" so that people like the Arrogant Jerk could even go to college.

It will be a stampede of "modest backgrounds." There's just one problem: neither one of them is modest. At the end of tonight, will we know who controls the blade, and whose head is under it?

Exposed

Hillary needs better opposition research. And by her "opposition," I mean her husband.

Barack Obama, Sunday, April 6, 2008 in San Francisco:

"You go into some of these small towns in Pennsylvania and, like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing's replaced them. And it's not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns, or religion, or antipathy to people who aren't like them, or anti-immigrant sentiment, or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."

Bill Clinton, in "My Life," his 2004 alleged "memoir," sounding eerily similar:

If [Republicans] could cut funding for Medicare, Medicaid, education, and the environment, middle-class Americans would see fewer benefits from their tax dollars, feel more resentful paying taxes, and become even more receptive to their appeals for tax cuts and their strategy of waging campaigns on divisive social and cultural issues like abortion, gay rights, and guns."

(Courtesy www.politicalwire.com.)

This is who they are. There's no mystery here. They are liberals who believe we --- the backbone of this country --- are "bitter," "resentful" people who "cling" to our "divisive social and cultural issues" because we're so closed-minded, ignorant, and unenlightened. We're the huddled masses who don't know any better, who need the crutches of church and guns and anti-everybody else bigotry. Who therefore need the leadership of the elite vanguard. They're going to do us a big favor and help us out of our Dark Ages---even though they're too good for us.

They accuse Middle Americans of being bigoted---but in reality THEY are bigoted. Their philosophy is based on the dismissal of whole classes of people based on stereotypes and grossly warped, self-serving judgments and incredibly narrow views of other people. Their philosophy rides on the intellectual put-down.

Once again, the liberals in this country (particularly the ones running for president) are guilty of projection: of accusing others of what they themselves are guilty of.

When the enemy tells you who they are, believe them.

Thar She Blows

The Junior Senator from Illinois made a gaffe of epic proportions, creating an opening for the Junior Senator from New York. In speaking to a group of mega-wealthy donors in San Francisco, the Junior Senator from Illinois dismissed voters in Middle America as "bitter" folks who "cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."

"Cling." "Guns." "Religion." "Anti-immigrant sentiment." "Antipathy to people who aren't like them." "Bitter."

Mayday! Mayday!

Here's the code:

"Cling" means "desperate."

"Guns" means "barbaric."

"Religion" means "unenlightened escapist fantasy."

"Anti-immigrant sentiment" means "racist bigot."

"Antipathy toward people who aren't like them" means "closed-minded hick."

"Bitter" means, well, "bitter."

If you were a political strategist advising a presidential candidate, these would be among the top ten things you would tell him NOT to say. Barack Obama hit them all in a single sentence.

Hillary Clinton would have been remiss as a candidate still in this race not to jump on it, and she did. In fact, while she was dissing Obama for his aloof, effete, dismissive elitism, she also dissed the last two Democratic nominees. "We had two very good men and men of faith run for president in 2000 and 2004," she said, and then, she dropped anchor: "But large segments of the electorate concluded that they did not really understand or relate to or frankly respect their way of life."

Cue her "Scranton" ad.

This is Girlfriend's stab at revenge against Al Gore for being a pompous ass who won't endorse her and John Kerry for endorsing the Hope Guy instead.

But she also has a point. The Democrats have made this movie before. Whenever they've nominated coolly academic, aloof, erudite guys, they've lost: Adlai Stevenson, Hubert Humphrey, Walter Mondale, Michael Dukakis, Al Gore, and John Kerry. The only Democrats to reach the presidency in modern times got there either through an emotional reaction to assassination (Lyndon Johnson) or scandal (Jimmy Carter). Bill Clinton won without surfing in on a national trauma, but he positioned himself not as an elite but as a "man of the people." Just folks, folks!

Obama is hoping he can channel JFK instead: an elite, yes, but so charismatic that the charm overrides the conceit. But Kennedy was a long time ago, in a different media age. Hillary now argues that Obama will wither under the unrelenting glare of the prolonged national spotlight, and that once the Republicans really get to him, he'll be toast.

Americans know presidential candidates aren't truly "one of them," but they do want to feel respected by them. Obama may not have totally blown it with these comments, but along with the Reverend Wright controversy, they raise more concerns about going with an unknown quantity.

Hence Hillary's new message: "I may be a corrupt mess, but I'm YOUR corrupt mess."

Imus in the Morning

I'll be a guest with Don Imus this morning at 8:30am ET. Please tune in, or listen to it streamed live at www.wabcradio.com.