Fly On The Wall

January 28, 2008

Something tells me that the conversations over the last day or so at Chez Clinton went something like this (expletives cleaned up):

Sunday morning, Hillary in Tennessee, calling Bill who was Lord-knows-where. HER: "Bill, wake up you (horse's butt.) Get whoever you've got with you the (heck) outta there and listen up. We've got a huge (freakin') crisis here." HIM: "(Gosh dang it), Hillree. Do you know how (freakin') early it is?" HER: "Listen, (horse's butt). Ted Kennedy is about to endorse Obama. I cannot believe what an ungrateful (horse's butt) he is. After all of the (gosh-dang) (stuff) we've done for him! That washed-up (freakin') (horse's butt) is pulling himself out of the (freakin') bar long enough to endorse somebody ELSE?!" HIM (whispering to someone else): "I'll be right with you, baby....Don't go." HER: "BILL! Who the (freak) are you talking to?? We've got an emergency here, and all you can think about is Mr. Happy? You are unbelievable." HIM: "I'm sorry, honey. What were you saying?" HER: "Oh shut up. Just get on the horn with Kennedy and hold a (freakin') gun to his head. Show me that you're good for something besides (sleeping with) half of America."

Sunday afternoon, Bill Lord-knows-where, calling the Senior Senator from Massachusetts, the Honorable Edward M. Kennedy. BILL: "Teddy! Great to hear your voice." TED: "Mr. President." BILL: "Rootin' for the Patriots, eh? That Brady is somethin' else." TED: "Yes, he is." BILL: "Goin' to the Big Game?" TED: "No, Mr. President." BILL: "I hear ya. I'd rather watch on the big screen at home with a coupla beers myself." SILENCE. BILL: "So listen. I heard this crazy rumor that you were thinkin' about endorsing Obama. Surely you're too smart a man to fall for his BS. I know I can go back to Hillree and tell her you're on board, right?" TED: "Actually, Mr. President, I am going to announce my support for Senator Obama tomorrow." BILL: "Oh, Ted. You crack me up. Have you thought about pitching a show to Comedy Central? Seriously, how can you go for a guy who doesn't have the first clue about anything? Hillree has been around the block. She knows how Washington and the world work. There's no learning curve with her. Besides, did you know that Obama is black?" TED: "With all due respect, Mr. President, I have been deeply offended by the way you and Senator Clinton have injected race into this campaign. You have smeared a good man, a decent man, a man who reminds me a lot of my brothers---" BILL: "Oh, please. You're not falling for that old claptrap, are you?" TED: "Mr. President, I have found your treatment of Senator Obama---dismissing him as a "fairy tale," as "Jesse Jackson"---despicable." BILL: "That's rich, coming from you. You should be in prison for murder rather than kingmaking in the 2008 election." TED: "Mr. President. I'm supporting Senator Obama. End of story. And if I could offer you some advice, tone it down. Stop with the racial (stuff). And go be a semi-dignified ex-president." BILL: "I'm very disappointed in you, Ted. You'd better hope Hillree doesn't get elected. You won't know what hit you." TED: "Is that a threat?" BILL: "No, it's a promise." TED: "Is there anything else, Mr. President?" BILL: "Could you at least endorse Edwards instead?"

Monday afternoon, Hillary on the campaign trail, calling Bill, who is Lord-knows-where. HER: "Did you SEE that?! Did you just see those turncoat, son-of-a-(female dog) Kennedys endorse Obama? It looked like a (freakin') ticker tape parade." HIM: "Ted cleans up well." HER: "All of their "he's the new Camelot" (stuff) makes me want to puke. And you, you (horse's butt)! You couldn't stop it. What good are you to me? I should dump your (butt) right now." HIM: "Go ahead. Do me the favor, honey. Let's see how well you do out there without me. My guess is you'd last five minutes." HER: "Oh really? All of your (freakin') "brilliant" strategies have screwed this up beyond belief!" HIM: "I only have so much to work with, sweetheart." HER: "Now you've got Al Sharpton telling you to "shut up"---and on "The View" of all places! FIX THIS!" HIM: "I'm on it, baby. I'm on it."

Comments

[FK]

Juvenile and not all that funny.

[Ree]

Monica

Have you got someone on the inside? Too Funny.

[M/M]

Monica,

This is hysterical. Keep up the great work. Any possibility you can team up with McGuirk? We're dying to hear from Cardinal Egan again.

Loved the new hairstyle. I thought it made you look younger too.

[SteveOk]

Monica, that was absolutely hilarious. I'm still laughing! The truth is that this is pretty close to reality.

It's sad in a way that an ex-President of the United States is becoming a clown and a political hack. You hear people defending him by saying he is her husband and has a right to defend her, but he is more than just a husband, he is an ex-President. Ex-Presidents don't get involved in whether the citizens of Nevada vote in casinos unless that ex-President is a nut. You expect an ex-President to exhibit some statesmanship instead of being a base political hack from Arkansas.

[M/M]

Bernard McGuirk would make a great guest. Why don't you invite him on?

[gringoman]

Ayyyyyyy! Chica mia! You cook with salsa now? Or as we used to say in the Yucatan (by a turquoise sea), muy picante!

Okay, maybe you're ready for gringoVison rating the Two-Headed Creature's chances of running a third time on Dem ticket for White House. From 95% certain it went to 85% post Iowa, then 80% post Sou C'alina. And now?

Well, how surging must be the revulsion against Two-Headed when even Senator Ted The Swimmer now backs Barack the callow charismatic? (Did the Clintonista faithful who tried so ignobly to desecrate your outspoken site have even a smidgin of a clue?)

Okay, Sweetie, here is what the crystal gringoBall is now showing: Despite the Dems' public display of bravado ("Hey, we is 2008!") they are just as desperate as the Bush-neutered Pubs. That is, the decades of race-and-gender Identity piranha they have used to terrorize opponents have finally come back to bite them in the Trotsky tookus.

Nevertheless, in the end they will do a grand kiss-and-make up, as it's obviously all about the power.

In other words, their only real battle right now is: which of this queer couple gets the POTUS slot, and which gets vice-POTUS. If, as is likely, cunningly caucasoidal Two-Headed, knowing exactly how to play hispanics off of blacks, wins enough primary delegates, the colorful charisma boy (a natural for today's American Idolaters) would likely accept VP duty which Two-Headed would likely offer in order to "heal wounds," mollify their faithful neo-plantation, and present a Stalinist-like United People's Front against "the evil capitalists and warmongers" while the pampered kiddies of the evil capitalists and the greybeard hippies keep puffing away and cheer wildly for the smarmy MSM cameras.

But what if?

What if he who the Dems dare not be honest enough to call their "Great Half-White Hope," were to get Top Nom?

What if, in order to "heal Party wounds" yada yada, SHE were asked to sit in the back of the Ticket bus?

Stay tuned. They might be about to give us a lesson not covered even in Jonah Goldberg's new LIBERAL FASCISM.

Doesn't matter if you heard it here first.

[Ree]

Bill Clinton's Dr Frankenstein moment when his creation turns on him.

http://imustimes.wordpress.com/2008/01/28/rev-al-to-wild-bill-just-shut-up/

[Ree]

M/M

This is the Newsday Poll for Cablevision to add channels, Imus mentioned this today on the show, if RFD TV gets picked up by Cablevision, NYC folks could get Imus in the Morning without a dish. I think this might be of interest to you and monica

http://www.newsday.com/entertainment/tv/ny-ettvside5549388jan25,0,1374143.story

[Ree]

This is an article from Matt Taibbi writes for Rolling Stone is Hillary Clinton the new Nixon.

http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/18074823/the_new_nixon

[charlie]

LOL Right on sista! You make a good scriptwriter.

I heard that humor is a panacea for good health and longgevity.

[FK]

That might be true of a GOOD sense of humor, as opposed to Monica's juvenile sense of humor.

[charlie]

LOL, Look who's talking about a good sense of humor!!

Boy, you're a comedian, but you don't know it.

[M/M]

Nellie McKay was a guest on Garrison Keillor's "A Prairie Home Companion" radio show this weekend. Check out this song. You'll enjoy it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnRtt-4EV4E

Garrison posted some other cuts from the show on his website

http://prairiehome.publicradio.org/

Kudos to Garrison Keillor and NPR for introducing us to the very "politically incorrect" Nellie McKay.

[M/M]

New York's chapter of N.O.W. responds to Ted Kennedy's endorsement of Barack Obama. (File: "You just can't make this up")

http://blogs.timesunion.com/capitol/?p=6285